LoveNotes: Part 6

Activity: 5 top reasons why women/men delay marriage
Our group’s ideas: Why Women Delay Marriage:

-Unsuitable matches
-Expectations are too high
-Education
-Age-some people think you’re not ready if you’re too young
-Dowry is too big: in UAE and Saudi, for ex.
-cultural expectations too high
-personal flaws-“he’s fat” “he’s short” etc.
-isolation of Muslims in USA/lack of communities causes people to not know about unmarried people/potential spouses
-most men and women make religious spouses a lat priority
-many look for status, money, beauty

-can’t afford it
-some parents want kids to marry same EXACT culture and tribe (LOL)
-when you are older, you are more set in your ways (stubborn) and look for perfect matching spouse
-not enough resources in non-Muslim countries
-lack of matrimonial services
-circumstances such as war-people moving
-if Muslim men marry Ahlul Kitab, more Muslim women are single

REAL RESULTS from all brothers/sisters.
WHY DO Brothers DELAY MARRIAGE?

-Parent delay (generation gap)
-Education/employment
-waiting to find perfect match
-men want “freedom” longer
-societal pressures don’t promote early marriages
-ignorance
-no matrimonial support/resources
-some think their sisters should get married first
-traumatic experiences they’ve heard about
-responsibility/commitment/fear of responsibility
-cultural issues
-peer pressure

(words of advice: If you always tell your parents: EXAMS, EXAMS, EXAMS, they’ll think you are still a kid—ie. You need to show them you are responsible enough to get married)

Why do SISTERS delay marriage?

-high expectations
-bad experiences
-hard to find prospective matches
-parental/social expectations
-education/women want to secure themselves
a. Parents’ idea: our daughter needs to be self-sufficient and not rely on a man because back home, women had to deal with “oppression, etc” but by doing this they are restricting their daughters from getting married before “medical school” or “PhD” –plus, they are not trusting in Allah

-mistrust/suspicion
-makes it easier for you to get out of relationship
-hard to find someone with same Islamic values
-fear of marriage
-lack of halal venues
-SCARY
-lack of understanding about marriage
*Lack of eman makes us unrealistic
-we don’t look at good models of marriage
-DON’T look at Hollywood