Lovenotes: Part 5

Love = sign of Allah = secret = MYSTERY

-Love varies

IN LOVE CASE:

-many times it’s only based on physical attraction
-physical attraction will NOT last forever
-what will you do when you’re old and bald
togetherness all the time
-both of them are possessive
-obsessiveness/dominance culture
-worst part: “elusive/perfect love”
-people think: “everything will be perfect”

True love begins when the in-love syndrome ends!
-put love to test
-test = marriage
-Welcome to the club =)

You get to see even the bad side of your spouse
-TOP reason for dispute: “she/he is not the way I thought!”
--> decency = real love, not just only dreamy crazy stuff

Things that Harm Love
1) Exploitation of Love: conditional love (I’ll only love you if you do this…), taking the person for granted, etc.
2) Acts of Disrespect: one word could be very sensitive and it’s different to say one thing to a friend and one thing to a wife
3) Slanderer: his job = basically to backbite and gossip
a. Peer pressure
b. Don’t listen to other people
c. Most slander comes from family members, authubillah!
4) Infidelity and betrayal
5) Long and Unnecessary Separation

-If Romeo and Juliet ever got married, they would probably file for divorce ASAP.

Regarding Infedility:
-Newsweek 2004: Why Do People Cheat?
- Bored
- Looking for adventure
- In Western culture they think in marriage they lose money

-most men avoid marriage because of pleasure

#1: problem amongst young people = delaying marriage problem
#2: premarital relationships (b/c of culture, etc)
#3: friend marriages
#4: divorce rates increasing in society: WHY??!
- elusive
- you “have” to know the person
- they keep dating for EVER
- parents want “security” for children

-many parents think that ‘security’ comes from job, money, etc.
-many think their kids = v. immature (what the youth need to disprove)
-in reality, so many conditions on marriage = bad

-Lack of knowledge causes delay in marriage, etc.
-Many think you need a PhD to get married