AlMaghrib: Love Notes- Marriage and Family life

Part 1

Sh. Yaser Birjas is from Palestine, studied in University of Madinah; relief worker in Bosnia (learned language of Bosnia in one year); currently Imam in El Paso, Texas; full-time Al Maghrib instructor. Also a student of Sheikh Uthaimeen (rahimahullah)

-You should prepare for love because one day it will come and hit you and when it does, it will hit you hard!

-Kids are often separated from the parents; culture is way different

-Level of maturity is going down in this culture

-This class is part of bridging gap between parents and kids

-Many people nowadays base “love” off of what Western culture thinks it is

-Marriage is based on two things: “Love and mercy” they are two wings; when one goes down the other goes up higher; most marriages apparently are running solely on mercy

-Love is a LIFE EXPERIENCE

-This is Fiqh of Love’s ‘juice’, just a little bit: “spirit of love”

-When Prophet Muhammad (saw) died, Aisha (RA) was only 18.

-Fiqh means understanding

-‘Ulema = muslim scholars

-Imam Ibn Hazm al Andalusee = well known for “fiqh adh-dhaahiria” (apparent/practical fiqh)
-he was a great scholar of Islam in Spain esp.
-his great grandfather came from East (Persia)
-grew up in royal family/Golden age of Spain
-different roles amongst people in Muslim Spain
-politicians/ministers (Umayyads)
-2 groups mainly fighting for power: Banu Hamood v. Umayyads
-when Banu Hamood were in power, he was in jail, vice versa

*Ibn Hazm, also known as: Encyclopedia of Islamic sciences! (knew so much)
-well known for his poetry
-his school of thought: Adh-Dhahiria (practicality)
-started out following ash-Shafi’i but later stopped following a madhab, wanted to stop blind following, etc.
-revived method of fiqh of Dhahiria

-2 of his books = important
-The Ring of the Dove (Tawq al Hamamah)
-Mudawat an Nufoos (Hearing of the Souls)
-Kitab as Seer wal Akhlaq
(both available in English)

-Ibn Hazm was passionate about issues
-gave his opinions on interactions

-Ibn Hazm had a unique, philosophical theory about love---most scholars disagree(d) with it
1) Hubb Uthri = Noble Love
-romantic (associated with pain/grief, sorrow)
-feelings
-conjunction between two scattered parts of souls mismatched in the upper universe
-he believed love didn’t start in earth but in heaven
-Love is something within the soul itself

-they love each other for certain qualities/some similarities

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. (Ar-Rum 30:21)

-Love and MERCY = 2 fundamental parts of love

-definitions of Love:
-strong positive regards
-passion
-beloved one
-deep feeling of desire
-enjoyment
-intense feeling given freely

*Real love is unconditional* (not “If you loved me, you’d take out the trash!”) Don’t put limits or conditions on love

*Arabic alphabet has certain meanings, subhana Allah*
-makharijal huroof
-take for example the letter “Sheen”
-its definition: al-intishaar: spreading out
-so cool because words with SHEEN give same feeling!
-Shams in Arabic = SUN à sun spreads warmth, light
-Shajarah in Arabic = TREE à tree spreads branches, shade

-Qaaf in Arabic is a powerful letter, comes from throat
-one of most powerful letters of Arabic alphabet
-words with Qaaf imitate its ‘personality’
-Quwa in Arabic means POWER
-Qalam in Arabic means PEN (there is a certain power in writing)

-Daad = explosions of earth
-dufda --> frog
-ard --> earth (explosions happening in it)
(my own example: “Daaleen” from end of Surah fatiha : transgressors)

HUBB in Arabic means LOVE
-starts with letter HAA (thick haa) ; comes from throat, inside
-love usually chokes people
-gives feeling of being overwhelmed
-sighing

-ends with letter BAA : coming from lips/kiss/outside
“Love starts with inside to outside”

-starts with a feeling from inside and then manifests itself in a kiss/physical way
-other Arabic words with HAA and BAA
-HABBA: seed--> a seed grows--> love grows

-HABAB: white --> pure --> love should be pure, having no strains, no restrictions/conditions

-Some people give philosophical, psychological, spiritual, intellectual meanings to love
-for some, love is the same as desire
-sentiments
-Romantic love: most popular: does not end with fulfillment; usually breaks hearts, is tragic, etc.
-Moral and sacrificial love: ex: Love for this Deen, love for Allah and RasulAllah salAllahu alayhi wassalam

-Here we are talking about: Passionate Love
-some people think of love as an intellectual experience
-“you control it” –they think
-they think love (ishq) shouldn’t control man
(but it does: LOL)
-Ibn al Qayyim al Jawziyyah wrote : Garden of the Lovers
-Imam Muhammad ibn Daud adh Dhahiri
-son of founder of literalist school of thought of Dhahiria
-studied one Arab tribe (Banu ‘Uthra)
LOL: they are soo soft and tender hearted, they cannot contain love in their hearts: love is so strong for them that they faint and die!! LOL
--> book: Az Zuhra
-book = about ideals of love

Love = always agreed upon

*Love is there especially when = resemblance/similarities with another person*

--> Best marriage = between similar people/all about natural characteristics